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“If they come from broken homes, no fathers,” says Nardicio, “then their insatiable desire to find a father to love them makes them do depraved things just for a dollar. Known for his anything-goes underwear party, NYC Caesar of sleaze Daniel Nardicio gets Freudian with his analysis. “Some end up becoming hosts because they are so fun and friendly that people come to see them outside of the way they look.” “A great go-go boy is friendly to everyone,” says Cote. And a great go-go boy has to let go of his ego.” Party promoter Ernie Cote agrees. “He’s got to be able to move through any type of space and any type of crowd. If they’re doing it right, they elevate everyone’s mood as well as everyone’s libido.Īccording to gay nightlife kingpin Frankie Sharp, good looks and the ability to look sexy grinding to the music are only part of the game. OK, they’re not out there curing cancer (yet), but they are performing a much needed service. Some are porn stars, and sex workers, and some end up winning a Tony for writing the book for Avenue Q. Go-go boys in gay clubs are a fantasy of and in flesh. Falling in love with them might ruin your life, but there are worse ways to go. Or you can leer at them from across the room. You can talk to them, dance with them and maybe even touch them. Not getting fucked doesn’t make you any less gay.They’ve got it, they flaunt it and they accept cash tips only. Similarly, if you’re a bottom-only queen, ask yourself why. If you believe that topping is preferable because it doesn’t threaten your masculinity, then have a strong word with yourself. Not only are you saying that it's more masculine to be a top, but you're saying that you should be ashamed to be a bottom.”īasically, it could be time to seriously check yourself and ask exactly why you don’t like bottoming (or topping, TBH). “You don't ever hear tops being called sluts, just bottoms. “If you're a bottom, you’re sometimes seen as a slut,” he says. Chris White, an expert in health promotion and the director and principal investigator of the Safe and Supportive Schools Project at the Gay-Straight Alliance Network in San Francisco, takes this one step further. “With bottoming there is the perception that you're giving up your masculinity because receiving a penis is something that women do,” Miller adds.ĭr.
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The ongoing fetishization of masculinity means that the traditionally submissive role of the bottom is associated with effeminacy. “What I mean by that,” he says, “is that cultural forces within the gay community prize topping over bottoming.”
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It could open up a world of possibilities.Īs Miller explains, there are outside forces that, dating back to the ancient Greeks, have prevented gay men from truly digging into what sexual behaviors we might actually enjoy. So, with the help of some experts, let’s take a moment to dismantle what you think you know about topping and bottoming. Sure, people have a preference, but now could be the perfect time to escape the top or bottom prison you live in. But it ought not to be impossible to sexually switch things up. These two subdivisions have their own rules, stereotypes, and in-jokes, and can sometimes seem as if they’re at war with each other, rather than both working together for mutual sexual pleasure.Īll of this can make trying different things daunting, especially if you’re a baby gay venturing into this world for the first time. But often, penetrative sex can feel divided into rigid binaries that make being a top or a bottom seem like a cult you’ve signed up to for life, and one that you have to declare as soon as two (or more) consenting men decide to take their clothes off and rub up against each other. This is clearly not the case, especially for those people who consider themselves versatile ( HIYA). Legend would have you believe that once you’ve earned your gay card, a Harry Potter–like ceremony occurs where, instead of the Sorting Hat, a giant magical butt plug divides all gay men into two houses: tops or bottoms.